It doesn’t start with “best friends”
When we think about friendship, we often picture children laughing together or calling each other “best friends”.
But for young children, friendship starts much earlier, and in much smaller ways.
It begins with watching. Sitting nearby. Copying. Noticing.
Before children are confidently playing together, they are quietly learning how to be around others.
The first stage: being near others
You might see two children playing side by side without interacting much. This is called parallel play, and it’s one of the earliest steps in social development.
Even without direct interaction, children are:
- Observing what others do
- Learning how to share space
- Becoming comfortable in a group setting
It may look simple, but it’s an important foundation.
The small moments that build big skills
Friendship skills don’t come from one lesson. They grow through everyday moments like:
- Waiting for a turn on a bike
- Offering a toy to another child
- Watching how someone reacts to sharing
- Sitting together during group time
These small interactions help children begin to understand others.
Learning that other people have feelings too
One of the biggest shifts in early childhood is realising that other people have feelings.
This is where empathy begins.
You might notice it when a child:
- Looks concerned when another child is upset
- Tries to comfort a friend
- Pauses before taking a toy
These moments are early signs of emotional awareness, even if they are still learning what to do with those feelings.
When things don’t go smoothly
Friendship isn’t always easy, and that’s part of the learning.
Disagreements happen. Toys get taken. Feelings get hurt.
These situations are where some of the most important skills develop.
With support from kaiako, children begin to:
- Use words instead of actions
- Express how they feel
- Listen to others
- Try again
It’s not about avoiding conflict, but learning how to move through it.
Finding their voice
As language grows, so does a child’s ability to connect.
Simple phrases like:
- “Can I play?”
- “My turn”
- “Stop”
become powerful tools for building friendships.
Instead of relying only on actions, children begin to communicate what they need and want.
Confidence changes everything
As children become more familiar with their environment and the people in it, something shifts.
They start to:
- Approach other children more easily
- Join in group play
- Take small social risks
Confidence doesn’t happen all at once. It builds slowly through repeated positive experiences.
Why early childcare matters here
Friendship skills grow best in environments where children feel safe, supported, and understood.
In a quality early childhood setting, children have the chance to:
- See the same peers regularly
- Practise social interactions every day
- Be guided through challenges in a calm way
- Learn at their own pace
These everyday experiences shape how children relate to others long before school begins.
It’s a gradual journey
There’s no single moment where a child suddenly “knows how to make friends”.
It’s a process of:
- Watching
- Trying
- Learning
- Trying again
And over time, those small steps turn into meaningful connections.
Want to See These Skills Develop in Real Life?
The best way to understand how children build friendships is to see it happening. From shared play to small social moments, it all unfolds naturally throughout the day.
If you’re considering childcare, get in touch with our team to book a tour and see how we support children as they build confidence, connection, and early friendship skills.